


Change Doesn't Happen Over Night (Except When It Does)

by paths



Category: Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz Pitch - Freeform, Enemies to Friends, Fangirl, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Simon Snow - Freeform, SnowBaz, and second kiss, carry on simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 09:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4741043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paths/pseuds/paths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baz's nose brushed against the spot behind Simon's chin and under his ear and Baz realized that his roommate was still very much alive but just as easily might not have been so he kissed spot behind his chin and under his ear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Use the Force, Luke

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually written before Carry On so there are something that don't match up with canon now. It's really more of a Fangirl fic.

Baz was sitting on his bed, wishing he’d decided to study at his desk. At his desk, he could sit with his back to the room and his incredibly annoying roommate. Simon was working on a new spell. He'd been working on the spell when Baz came in from footie practice, soaked and freezing. This had been an hour and one deliciously, bone meltingly warm shower ago. When Baz had come out of the bathroom and settled on his bed to do his biology reading, Simon was still working away on the spell. Baz didn’t usually let himself get this annoyed by Simon’s study habits but Simon did not usually stand in the middle of the room muttering to himself for hours on end. Baz recognized the spell that Simon was working on, having mastered it himself weeks ago without much difficulty. It was a spell to retrieve your wand if it was too far away to grasp, one of the few spells that could be reliably performed without a wand in your hand. All you had to do was say ‘To me!’ like the hero of some old black and white movie and the wand would fly into your hand. But Simon had been practicing for over an hour and it had clearly still not happened. After a few minutes of this, Baz had all but given up on his reading. Getting up and moving to his desk now might appear passive aggressive and Baz typically chose to be overt with his aggression. So really there was nothing else for it.

Baz put aside his book and crawled off his bed, scowling the whole way. Simon was so wrapped up in his shoddy spell-work that he didn’t even notice Baz until he was right in front of him. Simon’s little jump of surprise nearly made Baz laugh but he quickly regained his irritation. 'Honestly Snow,’ he said, coating his voice with as much contempt as he could muster. 'How exactly do you plan to defeat the Insidious Humdrum if you can’t even master a basic spell like this?’

'Basic my ass,’ Simon muttered. 'Let’s see you do it then if it’s so easy.’

'With pleasure,’ smirked Baz and really he couldn’t have kept himself from smirking at that if he’d been paid. He casually tossed his wand away to the far side of the room. With a dramatic flourish, he swept his arm in front of his body and out to his side, palm flipped up. 'To me!’ he called and his wand zipped back to his hand as though it had been yanked back by a string.

Simon was staring open mouthed at Baz but he quickly looked down and said, 'Well, you don’t have to be a show off about it.’

'It’s not as if it’s hard,’ said Baz coldly. Simon seemed to deflate and Baz felt a twinge of something. Crowley, that boy really did wear his emotions for everyone to see. 'I mean,’ he amended. 'It really isn’t that difficult. You’ll be able to figure it out.’

Anger covered Simon’s face as he looked up at Baz and this particular emotion looked incredibly foreign on Simon’s’ face. Baz realized that it must have been a very long time since he’d seen it, perhaps years even. 

'Right, Snow. We’ll get it sorted.’

“We’ll’?’ asked Simon, with surprise.

'Yes,’ said Baz. 'Now, try it again. Let me see what we’re working with.’ Simon looked at him the way he’d look at a mystery flavored candy when his next decision would either lead to something pleasant and enjoyable or instant regret. 'I’m not going to make fun of you, Snow.’ said Baz. 'Honestly, it’s making me tired watching you try the same spell over and over. Go on.’

Simon still looked wary but he held his hand out towards his wand stiffly and said, 'To me,’ without much feeling.

Baz looked at him critically for a moment and walked to his wand hand. 'Firstly, turn your hand up,’ he said. 'It should feel as though the wand is being placed into your hand. And you can’t just stand there. You have to move into it.’

'What, like you did?’ asked Simon swinging his arm in a wild gesture that Baz had to duck to avoid. 

'No, you prat.’ Baz was almost smiling now though he couldn’t have said why. He took Simon’s upturned hand in his and guided his arm gently in a graceful motion. 'Like this,’ he said.

Simon face clouded over. 'You're taking the piss. You don’t really need to wave your arms around like that to make it work.’

'Yes, you really do,’ said Baz. 'Look,’ and he attempted to perform the spell as Simon had done, with stiff arms and no inflection. His wand remained where it hand landed, half peaking out from under Simon’s bed. Then he waved his armed and said, 'To me!’ with panache and the wand flew straight to him.

Simon narrowed his eyes then closed them and took a deep breath. He opened them and called, 'To me!’ with as much bravado as he could muster.

The wand seemed to twitch though it could have been a trick of the light. 'Better,’ said Baz.

'Yeah, but not good enough,’ said Simon.

'Alright, listen Snow.’ said Baz. 'This is how I make it work.’

'What, fishing wire?’ asked Simon with the hint of a smile on his face.

'Ha bloody ha,’ returned Baz but he was smiling a bit too. 'No, listen. Have you ever seen that old black and white movie of the Three Musketeers?’ Simon nodded. 'I pretend I’m one of the Musketeers,’ Baz said quickly. 'Don’t you dare laugh while I’m trying to help you!’ he shouted half laughing himself. 

Simon, to his credit nearly kept his grin in check. 'How does that work?’ he asked.

'I’m not sure,’ said Baz. 'You need some power behind the words and for me it helps to picture a person with a big hat and mustache tossing me a sword.’

'And do you imagine that you have a mustache as well?’ Simon asked.

'Of course not,’ said Baz affronted. 'Why would I ever want to cover up my perfectly sculpted face?’ Simon finally laughed at that.

'Ok,’ said Simon a moment later, looking more relaxed than Baz had seen him all evening. 'I am a 16th century French Musketeer. I have a sword in my belt, a hat on my head and a beautiful maiden on my arm. I am fighting my way through the Red guard. To me!’ He flourished in a perfectly acceptable manner and nothing happened.

Simon very nearly stomped his foot. 'Why didn’t it work?’ he demanded, glaring at Baz and then his wand and back at Baz again.

Baz thought for a moment. 'Maybe the story doesn’t fit. Bear with me a moment. You give the words their power. And yes, they also gain power by being spoken over and over but if you don’t believe the words or if they don’t make sense to you, then it’ll never work for you.’

'Wait,’ said Simon. 'Is that why abracadabra is an actual magic word? Because enough people think it is?’

'Yes, probably,’ said Baz. 'But it’s likely that the word existed on it’s own before becoming magical.’

'So could I make my own magic word do you think?’ asked Simon, his eye beginning to spark.

'I think so,’ said Baz. 'It’s not common but there are stories, urban legends, of students using words other than what they’re taught in class to do some spells.’

'And it could be anything?’ asked Simon. 'So if I held out my hand and said,’ he dropped his voice lower. 'Use the force, Luke.’ The wand sped into his hand. Simon looked at the wand in his hand and up at Baz, his mouth hanging open. Then he whooped, he actually whooped and started dancing around the room. Baz couldn’t help but smile at his excitement though he refrained from dancing. Simon stopped mid spin and bounced over to Baz.

'I did it! We did it!’ he cheered punctuating each word by whacking his wand on the side of Baz’s head.

Baz brushed the wand away. 'Get your wand away from me,’ he said without malice, or without much malice at least. 'Changing my hair pink or blue would not be a good way of thanking me.’

Simon just laughed and tossed his wand away and then turned towards it saying, 'Use the force, Luke,’ in that same low voice. The wand flew to his hand again.

'Use the force Luke? Where on Earth did that come from?’ asked Baz.

'Seriously?’ asked Simon. 'You’re asking where on Earth 'use the force, Luke’ is from?’

Baz nodded slowly.

'What, have you never seen Star Wars?’ asked Simon.

Baz shook his head slowly.

'Seriously?’ Simon asked again, looking more shocked than he had when he found his wand in his hand.

'Can we just assume, for the moment, than I am being serious?’ asked Baz, raising an eyebrow.

'Right, well, Star Wars is a movie about adventures in space,’ Simon said slowly as though speaking to someone who didn’t speak very good English.

'I know that,’ said Baz. 

Simon glared. 'They have this thing called the force,’ he explained. 'They use it to move things and brainwash people. In the second movie, Luke is on an ice world trapped by this abominable snowman thing. He’s hanging upside down from the roof of the cave and his light saber is on the ground. You do know what a light saber is, right?’

Baz glared back. 'Of course I know what a light saber is. I don’t live under a rock.’

'Yes but you, you didn’t even,’ he spluttered, clearly pained by Baz’s patchy knowledge of Star Wars. 'Anyway, he’s hanging upside down, the snow monster is coming and he is inches away from being able to get his light saber. Then, out of no where, he hears the voice of his dead old mentor say, 'Use the force, Luke,’ and the lightsaber zips into his hand.’

'You are clearly insane,’ said Baz and if there was a hint of affection in his voice, he would deny it until the end.

***

The next night, as Baz opened the door to their room, he was assaulted by the sound of a brassy and upbeat fanfare. Simon was sitting on his bed, his laptop arranged precisely so that, from the door way, Baz could clearly see the yellow letters on the screen which said Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope.


	2. You Can Tak' Our Lives But You Canna' Tak' Our Textbook

Baz was unable to focus on his history revision. He was unable to focus because it was clear that Simon was also unable to focus. He was sitting on his bed which was covered in textbooks and papers and he was bouncing so much that Baz couldn’t understand how he could be reading the words on the pages in front of him. He had also changed positions four times in the last five minutes and that was frankly unnecessary.

Baz’s first instinct was to snarl at Simon for ruining his concentration but in the last year they had finally stopped snapping at each other like a pair of snapping turtles and had instead started to ask each other for things or tell each other things. Sometimes, Simon even went out of his way to say or do nice things. It still surprised Baz each time Simon brought him a cookie from one of his kitchen raids or helped Baz cover for his rat hunting trips into the catacombs. After a year of kindness, Baz would have thought these small acts would have stopped surprising him but each one still made Baz feel warm inside.

The words on the page in front of him began to blur and Baz realized he had been staring at the same spot for quite a while now. At the same instant, he realized that the room was much quieter than it had been for most of the afternoon. Simon had stopped bouncing and had started watching Baz.

He was smiling at him innocently and Baz was instantly on the alert.

‘Are you as bored as I am?’ Simon asked.

Baz glared at him for a long moment, trying to divine the intention behind the question. Deciding that Simon had nothing good planned, he turned back to his book. 'I don’t see how such a thing could even be possible,’ he said with a sneer, hoping his icy demeanor would put Simon off. He should have known better. 

Simon had set down his pen and closed his notebook. 'Really,’ he said. 'How can you find that interesting?’ He stood up and came to stand near Baz’s bed.

'Some of us take an interest in our education,’ Baz replied almost before he had thought the words.

Simon was leaning aganst Baz’s bed now, his hands resting on the red duvet cover. 'Baz,’ he whined, his voice edging the line between annoying and endearing. 'Baz, come out side with me for a bit.’

Baz ignored him and pretended to read his book, though he wasn’t absorbing anything at this point.

'Baz, it’s so nice and sunny outside. Come outside with me.’

Baz turned a page with a flourish.

'Bazzy Bazzington. Come on. It would be a shame to stay inside on a day like this.’

Baz could feel laughter starting below his rib cage and he desperately wanted to let go and laugh at Simon’s silliness or a least smile but instead he let out huge breath that could have been a long suffering sigh and said, 'Simon Snow, Heir of the Mage. Go bother one of your other friends.’ He was still staring impassively at his book when he felt the mattress dip. Simon was now kneeling next to Baz and looking up from under his lashes with the biggest, bluest puppy dog eyes Baz had ever seen. 'Well,’ thought Baz. 'I guess that’s it for studying today.’ Still he looked back down at his book. He wasn’t quite ready to give up yet.

'Penelope is tutoring first years. I saw Agatha earlier and she was reading a book and looked like she wasn’t going to put it down until she finished. Martin still hasn’t done that essay that was due on Thursday so I think he’ll be busy with that. That leaves you, Baz. You are my last friend.’ He grabbed Baz’s arm and said dramatically, 'Help me Baz, you’re my only hope. Save me from this black pit of boring despair.’ Baz did smile at that and Simon saw it. He immediately jumped back saying, 'I knew it! I knew you’d save me!’

'Very well,’ said Baz. 'Just let me finish this chapter.’ He turned back to his book, ready to finish outlining the remaining pages when his book was ripped from his hands. 'Outside will not wait!’ Simon cried. 'Down with textbooks! Down with history!’ 

Baz stood and held his hand out as he had seen many a rational adult do. 'Give me my book back, Snow,’ he said in a very calm and even voice.

'Never!’ cried Simon, leaping onto his paper covered bed.

'Snow,’ said Baz, warningly.

Simon cackled madly until Baz lunged at the book. Simon jumped backwards off his bed and Baz slide over Simon’s bed sending papers flying. Simon ran across the room yelling, 'You can tak’ our lives but you canna’ tak’ our textbook!’ in a ridiculous Scottish accent. He jumped on to Baz’s bed and Baz followed him up yelling, 'Off! Off you hooligan!’ as he tried to pull Simon off his bed.

Simon took a crazy leap off the bed and landed on the floor on his hands and knees and Baz followed right behind him grabbing onto his shoulders and back before he could run off again. Simon seemed to know he was stuck because he collapsed onto the book and screamed, 'You’ll never take it alive’

'It’s not alive. It’s a book, you nutter,’ Baz laughed. He sat up and put a knee on either side of Simon’s hips and before Simon had a chance to guess what Baz was planning, Baz had flipped him over and grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the floor on either side of his head. He quickly slid Simon’s wrist together above his head so he could hold them down with one hand and get his textbook with the other. He tossed his book in the direction of the bed and then looked down at Simon. 'Right,’ he said, still breathing hard. 'I win. One more chapter and then we’ll go out.’ 

'Yeah,’ said Simon. 'You win.’ Simon was still breathing hard but he wasn’t laughing any more. He was staring at Baz in the same way that Baz had seen him stare at a particularly difficult chemistry question. He released Simon’s wrists and started to move to the side to let him up but Simon stopped him with a hand on his arm. Baz sat back on his heels and Simon followed him up. He was still watching Baz’s face, his eyes flicking restlessly up and down. His hand slide from Baz’s arm to the back of his neck and Baz felt his brain turn to mush and dribble out his ear. All he knew was that he wanted Simon to keep touching him so he held still and waited to see what would happen next. And when Simon kissed him, he didn’t even see it coming.

Baz was as still as a statue, unable to even comprehend what was happening. He had just gotten around to considering softening his lips or even moving a little when Simon began to pull away and that was almost as big a shock as the kiss had been.

Simon sat back and looked at Baz and his face crumpled. 'Shit,’ he said. 'Shit. Baz. Shit.’ And immediately, he pulled his warm hand off the back of Baz’s neck and pushed himself away from Baz, scooting across the floor. Baz pushed himself back as well and stood up. He couldn’t feel his hands or feet but he grabbed his book and papers. Simon was saying something to him but Baz didn’t really register any of it. He opened the door and left the room without looking back to Simon was sitting on the floor.

***

Baz had stayed out until he absolutely had to go back before curfew. He had avoided the caf so he hadn’t seen Simon or any of his friends but now he had to return or risk detention. If he had thought to grab his wand, he might have cast an invisibility spell and stayed out all night but his wand was currently sitting uselessly on his desk. 

He couldn’t decide if he wanted to walk faster to get this over with or to walk slower and put it off as long as possible. By the time he arrived at their door, he was panting but not just from having walked quickly. He could feel every nerve ending all over his body and it felt like little white hot sparks were jumping over his skin. His hands were tingly.

He stood in front of the door and thought through the same arguments he had been repeating to himself and building up in his head all afternoon. He and Simon had been getting closer for a year now. Since they had become friends, Simon had not shown romantic interest in anybody (including Baz). Simon had initiated the teasing as he had often done in the past. He had stopped Baz from moving away and then he had kissed first for Crowley’s sake. Baz wasn’t sure what had happened next but he was close to convinced that it was just a misunderstanding and they would be able to talk it out.

He opened the door and stepped into the room. 

'Hey,’ said Simon, barely looking up from his book. 

'Hi,’ said Baz, setting his books down on his desk. 'Uh, Simon,’ he began. Simon continued to read his book.

'Simon,’ said Baz. 'About earlier.’

'Earlier?’ Simon asked, finally looking up.

'Yes.’ said Baz uncertainly. 'Earlier.’ He waved his arm in the direction of the floor where it had happened.

'Oh, that,’ said Simon, laughing in an odd, strained way. 'That. That was just a joke. I was just messing with you.’

Baz couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It felt like it took too long for him to repeat, 'A joke?’

'Yeah,’ said Simon. 'You should have seen your face,’ and he laughed again but his face was turning bright red.

'A joke,’ Baz heard himself repeat. 'Right. Good one.’ He suddenly felt very far away from everything again. He gathered his pajamas as quickly as he could and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he came back to the room, the lights were out and Simon was in bed.

Baz put his clothes in the hamper and climbed under the covers. He listened to the darkness and could hear Simon breathing steadily, too steadily almost. Baz couldn’t remember now if Simon had had his pajamas on when Baz had come back to the room. 

He lay there for what felt like hours, trying to make himself say the words, 'Simon, are you awake?’ He had very nearly done it when he heard a little snuffling snore that meant that Simon really was actually asleep. Baz lay awake for a while longer but he was exhausted in every way and eventually, he too fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far! You're awesome! I hope you liked it!


	3. A Walk in the Woods

Baz awoke to a roommateless room. In the messy bed next to his, where there should have been a sleeping, curly haired Simon, there were only crumpled sheets. Baz struggled through the early morning brain fog to find a suitable explanation for this. Simon could have gotten up before dawn but Baz didn’t think that had ever happened before. He could have been locked outside the fortress but Simon knew at least three ways back in. The explanation that Baz kept coming back to was that Simon was stuck somewhere and unable to return.

As soon as he settle on this explanation, Baz flung back his covers and pulled on yesterdays jeans and a pair of sneakers. He hurried to Agatha and Penelope’s room where he knocked on the door as loudly as he thought he could without waking the students in the neighboring room.

Penelope finally opened the door, her red hair in puffy braids and wearing a pink flannel night dress. Agatha looked sleepily at him over Penelope’s shoulder. He pushed past them into the room, holding down the latch of the door so it wouldn’t make any noise as he shut it.

‘Do either of you know where Snow went?’ he asked the girls. Penelope looked to Agatha with worried eyes as Agatha said, 'We have some idea,’ and resignedly began pulling a pair of boots onto her bare feet and tucking her blue stripped pajama pants into them. 'He mentioned going to investigate the rumors of the Thrice Spelled Sword but we thought he’d take us with him when he went,’ said Penelope as she knelt in front of her wardrobe, hunting for a pair of leggings to slip on under her nightdress. 

'So he’s in the Veiled Forest, alone, the idiot,’ hissed Baz. He bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet, checking his pocket for his wand as he waited for Penelope to tie her shoes. The moment the girls were ready, he turned on his heal, leading out into the hallway.

The walk through the Fortress was uneventful and they easily found their way to the library and the shelf of books that when tapped with a wand in just the right way, swung back to reveal a tunnel. The tunnel lead them under the moat and out into the grounds. From there they hurried to the edge of the woods before they could be spotted from one of the Fortress’s windows.

'Right,’ said Baz breathing quickly through his nose, more from stress than exertion. 'Do either of you know which way he went?’ Penelope and Agatha glanced at each other and slowly shook their heads. 'Perfect,’ snarled Baz, yanking his wand from it’s pocket. 'Just stand back and be quiet then.’ He closed his eyes and held his wand at his side. With a huge effort, he forced his body to relax, the muscles to loosen and his breathing to slow. He very slowly raised his wand arm and then, so quietly that it was little more than an escaping breath, he said, 'Lead on.’

Immediately, a spark of blue light shot out of his wand and into the forest and almost as quickly, a spark of red light returned from the the direction that the blue light had disappeared. 'He’s that way,’ said Baz and began striding off in the direction of the light. Behind him, Penelope let out a huff of air and he could hear Agatga say, 'Wow,’ before they followed him.

His wand held in front of him acted as a magnet, pulling him forward through bushes, over rocks and through the occasional stream. Baz kept the wand held in front of him but he felt that even if he put it down, he’d still feel the pull just below his left clavicle, the same spot that pulled him towards Simon whenever Baz saw him smiling at him from across the room.

There was no way of telling time and it always went a bit wonky in a crisis anyway but Baz guessed they had been walking for about half an hour when he smelled it, the familiar tang of Simon’s blood. He’d smelled it before, when they’d been on quests and adventures and all ended scratched and dinged. But Baz had never encountered the smell before in such a quantity or mixed with as much sweat and fear as it now was. He started sprinting before he even knew what he was doing. It was another three or four minutes before Baz flew down a hillside and saw the tree.

It was a huge old oak tree with a base so wide that two people holding hands could not encircle it. On one side of the tree, the soil had washed away and left the roots visible and in the hollow Simon lay sprawled and bloody.

Baz’s heart beat so loud as he rain the last hundred feet that he could no longer hear the wind in the trees or the birds singing. As he skidded to a halt, his mouth was so dry he could barely whisper, 'Simon. Simon, can you hear me? Simon, please.’ He grabbed Simon’s arms, just above the elbows and held on so tightly that he though it must hurt but he could make himself loosen his grip. He kept saying Crowley knows what until finally, Simon’s eyes fluttered open, the corners of his lips turned up and he said, 'Hey Baz.’

The sudden relief made Baz light headed and he put his arms around Simon’s back and scraping his knuckles against the bark of the tree. He sagged against Simon as gently as he could manage, his chin coming to rest on Simon’s shoulder. He turned his head towards Simon, resting his forehead against Simon’s cheek and taking a moment to confirm that his ridiculous roommate was still alive and whole. He was vaguely aware of Simon’s hands on his back, rubbing light stokes up and down and Simon’s voice saying, 'It’s alright. I’m ok, really,’ in a forced way.

Baz’s nose brushed against the spot behind Simon’s chin and under his ear and Baz realized that his roommate was still very much alive but just as easily might not have been so he kissed spot behind his chin and under his ear. Simon’s reassuring babbled suddenly stopped as did the hands on Baz’s back but Simon didn’t move away. Baz noticed that his face was really very near Simon’s apple cheek so he kissed that as well. He heard Simon suck in a breath of air and he felt his hands on his back tighten. He kissed Simon’s cheek again and then pulled back just far enough to look at all of Simon’s face at once.

Simon’s eyes were wide and his mouth gaped but as Baz looked at him, the corners of his lips rose again and Baz couldn’t not kiss them. He pressed gently but firmly against Simon’s mouth, trying to convey all the worry and relief he had felt that morning. He wanted to keep kissing him but a sound behind him reminded him that Penelope and Agetha were hot on his heels so he pulled away and rest his chin once again on Simon’s shoulder. He let out a breath that he felt like he had been holding all morning and it came out like the beginning of crying. He pressed his forehead into the bark of the tree behind Simon and tried to center himself.

Sure enough, when Baz pulled away and sat back on his knees, Agetha and Penelope were there. When he took a good look at the situation, the first thing that drew his attention was that there seemed to be something very wrong with the way that Simon’s knee was bent. 

Penelope seemed to come out shock first and took an angry step towards Simon and Baz. Baz tensed himself but instead the angry yelling was directed at Simon. 'What the hell were you thinking? Coming out her all alone and facing the troll without telling anyone were you were going, let alone bringing us along to help. I thought we’d talked about this!’ Baz could tell she was only ramping up to keep yelling so he quickly stepped in.

'Penelope,’ he said loudly. 'Not that I don’t agree with everything you’ve just said for the first time ever but this is not the place to discuss it. Simon has got a broken leg and this is not the safest place to handle it.’

Penelope looked away from Simon for the first time since she’d seen him and said, 'Simon?’

Baz winced and said, 'Nor is it the time to talk about that. Agetha, you’ve been working on first aid. Is there anything you can do for him?’

Agatha knelt down next to Simon and laid gentle hands on his leg. She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them and looked very closely at Simon’s leg. Finally, she said,'It’s definitely broken. There’s not anything I can do for him here. We have to get him back to the fortress but he had better not walk on that leg.’

'That’s alright. I’ll carry him,’ said Baz matter of factly.

'You’ll what?’ said Penny and Simon in unison.

'I’ll carry you back and you won’t argue with me. You lost that right when you snuck out here to get your leg broken without telling me. Us.’

'I. Just. Do you think you can? Carry me all the way back?’ Simon asked.

Baz looked at him then stooped and put one arm under Simon’s shoulders and the other under his legs and lifted.

'Careful of his leg,’ squealed Agatha. 

Baz just looked down at Simon and asked, 'Are you alright?’

Simon’s face was pale and his lips were pressed taught but he nodded. 

'Very good then,’ said Baz and began walking in the direction of the fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are a rock star for reading this far! I've got one more chapter coming probably. Let's see what happens.


	4. Eyelids, Cheeks and Noses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being much longer than originally planned and is also a bit of a sick fic and that wasn't in the plan either. Warning: this chapter may induce nausea or vomiting due to the overly mushy nature of it's contents. My apologies.

He had been sitting on the orange plastic chair for so long that his legs were full of pins and needles but he had decided that he would sit here as long as it took and that's what he was going to do. He had carried Simon through the Veiled Forest, Simon's head lolling against his shoulder. He thought Simon had passed out for a while because he was very quiet and his neck seemed to be made of rubber and incapable of keeping his head still. And then he had woken up with a small gasp, his entire body tensing. 'Are you alright?' Baz had asked quietly so that Penelope and Agatha walking a head of them wouldn't hear.

'Never better,' said Simon, his eyes closed and his face pale. His face softened for a moment and a small smile crossed his face. 'I'm finally where I always wanted to be, in you're arms.'

Baz couldn't say anything for a moment but finally came out with, 'If you'd wanted my attention, chocolates would have done just as well as a broken leg.' His voice was cold but his arms around Simon were tight and warm.

'Noted,' said Simon before leaning his head back down on Baz's chest.

The trip through the Fortress to the nurse had been quiet since they had arrived in the middle of the first class of the day. As they entered the nurses office, Nurse Olga had taken one look at them and matter of factly led them behind the partition to one of several blue cots. Baz laid Simon down gently and stood back with Penelope and Agatha while Olga looked Simon over.

'He's in no immediate danger,' she said finally. 'I'll be putting him in a cast. Well, there's no reason for you lot to wait around. You can get changed and head to class.' She began to move off but Penelope, Agatha and Baz all called after her wanting to stay.

She eventually convinced Agatha and Penelope to go to their classes and come back during lunch to check on Simon but Baz flatly refused to leave and Olga finally gave up trying to reason with him. 'You can stay out of my way in the office. I don't want to see or hear you until I'm finished.'

So Baz sat on a hard chair, legs falling asleep and waited. By the time Olga came back around the partition, his brain was feeling about as numb as his legs.

'He's awake now,' said Olga. 'He may still be a little woozy so go easy on him.'

When he stepped around the partition, Baz's immediate attention once again went to Simon's leg, now wrapped in a hard blue cast. Simon was smiling though but that was his default facial expression. Simon gave a little wave and Baz realized that he must have been staring a bit. He went to sit on the chair near the head of the bed, pulling it right up until his knees were underneath the cot. He wanted to grab Simon's hand or touch his arm or something but at the last moment, he thought better of it and rested his arms on the side of the bed. 'How are you feeling?' he asked.

'Pretty good, all things considered,' said Simon. 'I can't really feel much of anything. My leg's still there, isn't it?' Simon was still smiling and though his face was still pale, it was no longer strained from pain.

Baz reached down and patted his casted shin gently. 'You are still bipedal, in my expert opinion,' replied Baz, resettling in his chair. 

Simon smiled brighter at this. 'Nurse Olga had me on some pretty awesome drugs while she was setting my leg. She said they'd wear off in a few hours. What time is it anyways? Shouldn't you be in class?' 

'I wasn't going to leave until I knew how you were doing,' said Baz, as though wondering why Simon even felt the need to ask such a question. 

'Mmhmm, thanks for staying. And thanks for carrying me back to the Fortress. And thanks for coming to find me.' He reached down haphazardly to pat Baz's arm where it rested on the bed and his hand came to rest on the back of Baz's wrist. He settled himself deeper into the crisp white pillow, looking very contented. It may have just been the drugs but Baz hoped it was just a little bit because he'd stayed. Simon's eyes fluttered shut and he sighed contentedly, the hand on Baz's wrist gripping tighter.

All the emotions that Baz had felt throughout the morning were finally catching up to him and Simon's hand was warm and covered with dirt and right on top of his and enough was enough so he covered Simon's hand in his own, flipping his bottom hand up to hold Simon's in both of his. Simon curled his fingers around the side of Baz's hand and lay peacefully for a few moments. 

The only sounds in the nurses office were the sounds of Olga writing away and the occasional shuffle of papers on the other side of the partition. Baz was starting to think that his roommate had perhaps fallen asleep when Simon said his name so quietly that he almost didn't hear it.

Baz leaned closer, Simon's hand still clasped in his. 'Did you say something?' he asked almost as quietly.

'Yeah, Baz,' he said, his bright blue eyes opening for just a moment. 'Will you stay with me for a little while?' 

'I'll stay as long as you need,' said Baz.

When Penelope and Agatha came back an hour later, they saw Simon asleep on the cot and Baz gently cleaning the dirt and blood from his hand with a white washcloth. 

They exchanged glances that were much less shocked than those they'd exchanged in the woods earlier that morning and Penelope cleared her throat loudly. Baz only turned to glare at her before carefully wiping the last smudges of dirt off of Simon's hand. Agatha handed him a sandwich from the cafeteria and Penelope walked to Simon's other side and asked, 'How is doing?' in a low voice.

'He'll be fine,' replied Baz. 'Nurse Olga set his leg and gave him what are apparently some very entertaining drugs. He was awake earlier but he's sleeping it off.'

'That's good to hear,' said Penelope. She looked down at their linked hands and Agatha followed her gaze.

'Did you two talk at all?' Agatha asked kindly.

Baz shook his head.

They all feel silent for a few minutes until the awkward silence prompted Penelope to say, 'Professor Chilblains missed you in class today but Nurse Olga sent us with a note so that's ok. He did say for you to go see him tomorrow if you can.'

Simon's fingers tightened around Baz's hand before Baz could respond and he yawned and gave a little stretch. 

'Simon, are you awake?' asked Penelope.

'No,' he said through another yawn. 

Penelope and Agatha crowded around the bed asking how he felt and if he was hurting or hungry and generally making sure their friend really was doing alright. 

Simon smiled and laughed and answered all their questions good-naturally all the while holding onto Baz's hand. Nurse Olga brought in some food on a tray and Baz moved out of the way of the bustle of the girls arranging Simon's pillows so he could sit up and eat. They all sat and chatted while Simon and Baz ate but after a while, Baz noticed Simon beginning to babble a little and blink his eyes to much. He broke into the conversation asking, 'Are you getting tired Simon?' and reaching to take his tray.

Simon tried to say, 'No,' but it turned into a yawn halfway through. Agatha and Penelope giggled and Baz gave him a small smile. 'It's time for you to sleep,' he said. 'No arguments.'

Simon had looked like was about to argue but he yawned again and began to laugh. 'I guess you're right,' he said. He leaned forward while Agatha and Penelope laid his pillows flat. By the time he laid down, he looked like he was just about asleep again. Baz stood back awkwardly as the girls said their 'goodbyes' and 'feel betters'. 

Baz looked from the girls to Simon and uncertainly asked, 'Would you like me to say?'

Simon's looked at him through heavy eyes, 'No, you don't have to stay. You should go to your afternoon classes.' Before Baz could feel disappointed, Simon reached out his hand and Baz grasped it. 'But could you come back this evening after dinner?' Simon asked.

Baz squeezed his hand and said, 'Of course.'

***

The hallways were quiet and filled with twilight glow as Baz entered the nurses office. He walked around the corner and saw Simon sitting up in bed and reading by the light of a small lamp on his bedside table. He looked up as Baz entered and smiled widely. Baz was across the room and sitting on the edge of Simon's bed before he'd even decided to move his feet but once there he had no idea what to do with any of himself. He could only look at Simon's porcelain blue eyes and try to figure out how he'd never noticed precisely how deep they were. Finally, his brain caught up with his actions and he looked away asking, 'How are you?' and feeling idiotic.

'Fine, now. Well, not fine, obviously. My legs still broken.' He laughed at his own joke but Baz was to nervous to laugh with him.

'And are you still drugged up?' asked Baz.

'No, not like I was earlier. Nurse Olga gave me something different so I'm not so out of it. Course, I can also feel my leg now a bit it's not too bad.' They lapsed into silence again, Simon fiddling with the sheet across his lap. Finally, he asked, 'Did I miss anything interesting in class?'

'No more than if you had been there,' Baz responded, flashing a vicious grin in Simon's direction. 

Simon shoved him hard in the arm and Baz nearly toppled off the bed, only saving himself by flailing wildly and grabbing the headboard. 'That's what you get for making fun of me while I'm injured,' cackled Simon. Baz pulled himself upright but he over corrected a bit and wound up sitting much closer to Simon's shoulder than he had been. The proximity made them both suddenly stop laughing. 

'Listen, Baz, and I'm only suggesting this because I'm very high on medication right, but we should probably talk.' Simon was glaring defiantly into Baz's eyes as if daring him to back down first.

Baz did back down first, looking down at his hands and saying, 'You're probably right.'

Simon was quiet again for a moment and Baz could practically hear him thinking through what he should said until finally he said,'Yeah well, we kissed this morning and you've been so nice to me but twelve hours ago, I thought you hated me.'

Baz finally looked up at this. 'I never hated you, Snow. Well maybe a bit in first and second year but well, there was an afternoon in third year, in the fall. It was one of those rare days when you were siting at your desk instead of sprawling on the bed. The sun was at this perfect angle and it lit up your hair and your face and I just got caught. I couldn't look away from you for ages. I just watched you doodle in the edges of your history book. And all the anger and frustration and all the bad stuff it just melted away and all I felt was warmth just from looking at you. I don't know. Maybe I never did hate you. Maybe the other feelings were always there.'

Simon's mouth had fallen open as Baz talked. 'That was in third year?' he said. 'Why were you still a dick to me for so long. We weren't even friends until last year. That was three years that you were a dick. I demand an explanation for your dickishness.' He smacked Baz again on his chest but not as hard and when he went to rest his hand on the bed, he missed and put his hand on Baz's and decided to just leave it there.

'I almost don't even know how to explain it. It's like, I had to protect myself.' Simon squeezed his hand. 'I thought maybe, if I acted like I hated you enough, maybe I'd start hating you again. And I couldn't let you know how I felt. It took a long time for you to start being nice to me as well if I recall. I hated myself a little bit for the way I treated you but I thought it would be better to error on the side of to mean than not mean enough.'

'And when Penelope finally talked me into being nice to you? All those stolen cookies, Baz?' teased Simon, gently.

Baz looked down at their hands twisted together on the sheet. 'You see, I didn't know how to be friendly without you finding out how I felt. I was worried that I'd act more friendly than a friend would act and then you'd know. Or, I don't know, I'd just let it slip somehow. I don't think I'm explaining this very well.'

'No, I think I kind of get it.'

Baz looked up. 'Oh thank Crowley,' he said.' 'Because I still don't completely get it. I was a complete ass to you when all I really wanted to be doing the whole time was this.'

He fell forward through the tiny space between them and kissed Simon. One of his hands wandered up to cup Simon's neck and the other meandered it's way to hold onto his hip. Baz felt Simon's hands encircling him, warm and soft and strong. Simon's lips parted and Baz felt rather than heard a tiny sigh. All the tension left Baz's body leaving him feeling boneless and floaty. Simon pulled and Baz pushed and a moment later, they were lying side by side on a stack of crisp white pillows. 

Baz had taken a short break from lips to kiss eyelids, cheeks and noses when Simon said, 'Wait a minute. When was it that you decided that you liked me?'

'Third year.' He kissed Simon's chin. 'Four years of stoic silence.' He leaned into kiss Simon's lips again but Simon pushed him back.

'Tyrranus Basilton fucking Pitch! I kissed you last spring! Last spring! And you ran away!' Simon was leaning up on his elbows now, looking a little hurt.

'You said shit, like it was a mistake. And when I came back, you said it was a joke.' Baz was sitting up too now, his hand still resting on Simon's chest, reluctant to loss all contact with him.

Simon sighed and leaned back into the pillows. 'We are both the biggest idiots.' He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and rubbed circles into his forehead.

'Yes, we are,' Baz agreed. It was silent and tense again for a moment.

Finally, Simon opened his eyes, 'This is stupid,' he said and pulled on the collar of Baz's shirt until Baz had leaned down again and they were kissing again. 

When they pulled apart again, the sun had completely set and it was dark except for the small lamp next to Simon's bed. They lay side by side on the small cot, hands clasped, heads tilted together.

'So, when was it that you decided you liked me?' Baz asked.

'Beginning of last year.' said Simon. 'I was so excited to get back to school and most everyone was here a day early except for you and it just didn't feel right but I didn't know why until I went up to our room that night. It just seemed dull or something. Not as bright as usual. The next day, I kept getting nervous butterflies every time I heard someone in the hall until you finally came in. And then everything felt right again. And that night at dinner, my eyes just kept being pulled to you, like you were the only one in color in a black and white picture. So I thought a lot about why and I finally realized that it's just because you're reliable. Or not that exactly. But you'd always help if I really, really needed it though you're always mean about it. But every time I've forgotten a pen you've said something like, 'Can't you keep it together for even one day?' but then you'd always hand me an extra pen. And every time I've struggled with a spell you've told me how child could do it but then you would always help me without me even asking. You know, you're the reason that everyone thinks I'm actually capable of anything.'

Baz tilted his head and kissed Simon's check, 'Simon,' he said. 'You're babbling again.'

Simon yawed. 'Yes, well, it's been a long day.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the whole thing! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
